Ilala Ferry

The Ilala ferry runs up and down lake Malawi once a week, as it has done since the 1950s. It it slow, smelly and constantly belches out soot from its smokestack. It is also a lot of fun to take and the only real way of getting to Likoma Island.

We boarded at Monkey Bay on May 21st - the trip to Likoma Island (around 150 km) takes more than 30 hours. It was slow. But in that time we met the other tourists on board and the locals who were on the top deck, many of them clustered around the bar.

The night went very smoothly, thank heavens, and we were able to sleep through the night. We'd splashed out on the 'owner's cabin' - the only one on board with an ensuite bathroom (though it sounds much more grand than it actually is) - but it was quiet and I didn't find out until the next day that they don't actually change sheets between guests so I slept very soundly.

Likoma Island's harbour is a fairly basic affair. Essentially, they don't have a jetty so the little lifeboats ferry passengers to and from the island. But in the most hectic, least-organised way possible. People were literally scrambling over each other to grab hold of the rope ladder on the Ilala's side, one fellow even lashed out with his foot while he was climbing, knocking another guy to the ground in the lifeboat. It was all fairly entertaining to watch from the comfort of the top deck, but it was quite another thing to get in the middle of the scrum and fight your way into the lifeboat (maximum capacity 22, actual capacity at least double that, plus all the bags of mealie, flour, crates of pop, etc). It was mad. I was very glad that we'd had our India training to teach us how to push and take up as much space as possible. We bullied our way onto the lifeboat as some of the first passengers (at the end it's standing room only and our balance isn't that good) and eventually pushed our way out of the boat once on shore - though the shore passengers were fighting to get on at the same time. I don't often need a drink but I needed a drink after that.